Transylvanian Hard Cheese

…Aged in a spine-chilling Romanian Salt Cave…

…as a description of 90’s industrial goth, per a great meme.

I had recently been combing through old pics on my phone and came across that meme (it featured a photo of actual cheese, supposedly from Romania). Figured it might be kind of fun to talk about the evolution of my taste in music and personal style.

I am enormously grateful for access to music, and I’m going to see Black Veil Brides in May. You can’t deny the heart wrenching glory of “The Mortician’s Daughter,” or the gutsy appeal of their cover of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell,” etc.

Because it always makes me cry bittersweetly in the most healing way, here’s “The Mortician’s Daughter.” Later than 90’s, and their music spans a lot of rock genres, but still.

In spite of my present blond hair, I do keep black lipstick year round, not just for Halloween. And I still listen to a fair amount of music falling somewhere on the goth spectrum, on a regular basis.

This is more goth-adjacent, but I LOVE love love it. And it’s really great for working out or doing any kind of cardio, even walking, because of the driving beat and general intensity.

Tonight I learned there was a second version of “Marilyn, My Bitterness” that hit more recently, but I still like this one better.

I think that’s one of the songs I used to do sit-ups to, with my legs up against the wall, at a 90 degree angle to my torso.

I’m also a huge fan of this one… considered “doom-pop” at best, but it did involve one of the members of Bauhaus (and I ADORE Bauhaus, and the various projects of Daniel Ash, and Peter Murphy’s solo catalog).

I had a great fan-girl moment with one of the members from the band black tape for a blue girl, having responded to a request for fan emails about where you first encountered their music. In my case, it was an honest to Goddess plastic cassette mix tape made by the coolest Wisconsin Goth Babe with whom I was friends at the time, before moving to Cheese Country myself, many years later, with my family.

I guess some of their music is considered capital G Goth, but otherwise they’re known for Darkwave, or Dark Cabaret. This is probably my fave of theirs that I have heard thus far, though it probably doesn’t hurt that it was the closing track on the mix tape.

“But Michelle, what about Goth-goth?” you might be wondering.

I also still listen to The 69 Eyes, Sisters of Mercy, the aforementioned Bauhaus, Christian Death, Type O Negative, October Noir, Love Like Blood (and I dig the song by Killing Joke, of the same name)…

A cursory Google suggests a lot of the bands I love are considered more Darkwave, or Post Punk, or what have you. Alas.

BUT… here is my favorite 69 Eyes track, which my bestie added to a CD mix she sent me in the mail long, long ago. It’s about my most beloved vampire movie.

The “featured” image attached to this post is a copy of a black and white photograph of me, taken by my high school best friend, V., around the time I first dyed my hair black.

Given I also listened to Nirvana and Pearl Jam and Nine Inch Nails and Nitzer Ebb and The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees and loads of other bands in high school. And I flirt with pop and many other genres to this day. But I liked as a teen, and still enjoy now, things that have a touch of darkness to them, like the Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds albums I discovered through one of V’s boyfriends.

Also, I think it’s rather telling that when I donned a generic Elvira-esque costume for Halloween in my 20’s, my coworkers and friends said it wasn’t really a costume.

Here’s a retrospective of some of my gothier Halloween costumes, amusingly arranged in a Canva graphic, as though I’m haunting a spooky woods, and a few looks I put together just for going out (the filtered center top pic and right corner pic were just evenings out on the town). The bebe bunny on the left would be kiddo on her very first Halloween.

I also attended a vampire ball, though I don’t have any full body pics of that, since I went alone. Sadness. But I got a lot of compliments on my high-quality fangs.

Maybe in some ways this whole post has been a general response to a comment from a guy I was once somewhat involved with. He had referred back to the time we first met, or that general ballpark, back to when I was 19, “when you were goth.”

In my mind, I don’t know that I ever fully epitomized the fashion side of goth, but I can get a lil spooky with the best of them. In my present dotage (LOL), I prefer sexy-horror to slasher-horror, but I still love werewolves and vampires.

And the general wisdom about goth is that it’s a music-based subculture, not just a fashion show. So there. HA.

I think, as well, I’d like to acknowledge that poor, naive-ish (but acutely interested) 19-old-me had no idea what she was doing getting involved with a 24-year-old guy.

Would I feel that way if it had evolved into something more mutual? Perhaps not. But it never did. I did, however, see Orgy in concert because of him. Still love their cover of “Blue Monday.” So yeah. There’s that. And we visited Club Anything, and a funky Tiki bar, in Milwaukee, with a whole mess of people.

Moving on.

If you have any ooky-spooky darkwave/post punk/alternative/indie/goth/rock songs or bands to recommend, I would be most interested!

Spooky season lasts year round in this household.

Many props to the legit Elvira, Cassandra Peterson, who is without doubt the living Queen of Halloween. I had a supervisor at a call center job call me the Queen of Halloween and was so flattered.

(I also rocked the HELL out of our pajama day in an AC/DC Back in Black t-shirt, I think black pajama pants with skulls all over them, a black robe with a white, silver, and black leopard print collar and cuffs, and some kind of coordinating slippers. I dressed up in raucous colors for holidays in general while working there, including Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day, since our customers never saw us, and we had a very casual dress code.)

I’m still trying to keep that spirit alive with how I present myself day to day. Some of my choices have a hint of goth flair. Others are so over-the-top girly-girl with pink and glitter and fun.

In summary… never never never give up what you love without DAMN good reason (like it being actively harmful to you or other people). Don’t go changin’ to get someone or keep someone because you’ll only lose yourself in the process, and they won’t stay anyway.

I’ll concede that I had a much easier time losing vast quantities of weight and getting physically healthier when booty was on the line, and I had someone specific in my sights. Still, probably not the way to go. Plus, these days, I’m not finding the promise of a pretty face sufficiently motivating, regardless.

Meanwhile, I will keep enjoying my vampy-flavored music, my werewolf and vampire playlists, each 69 tracks long, and remembering, “She’s in love with herself. She likes the dark,” (RIP Peter Steele).

I leave you with the following, which totally reminds me of white-satin-lined coffins and, by extension, perhaps even the late Bela Lugosi.

*ENCORE ENCORE*

I realized the list was VERRRRY testosterone-heavy (though you can’t argue that many of the dudes flirt with androgyny). So, with one last flourish of the YouTubes… and a nod back to the name of this blog post, I give you Rasputina’s “Transylvanian Concubine,” or in any case, one of its many, many remixes. Cello/chamber rock, with goth themes.